STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
we're so committed to being not committed
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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