I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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