I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I died a long time ago.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
