We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
