Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
