My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
