babies were throwing up all over the place
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize