So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
this will be a night to untag.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
