just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So squirting runs in the family.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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