Screwed.edu
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize