Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So much rum. So many feels.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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