idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The air was thick with penises
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
