Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
