I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
