guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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