Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
