WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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