Christians are straight up FREAKS
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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