it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
