It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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