nutella sex= disaster
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
