I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
