Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
