I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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