i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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