Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
