so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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