so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
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I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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