I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
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Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
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We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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