some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
