I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
