you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am one with the molecules
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
