My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You pole danced in your parka.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize