there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
