Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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