During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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