My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
