it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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