SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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