I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
