Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
