i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
