Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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