He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
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Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.