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im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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