Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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