"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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