My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
you never un-have a 4some
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
