Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
