Nicole vs. Life
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
