I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
