how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
