so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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