Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
