Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
