Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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