omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
