What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wish you could order shots online.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
