they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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