Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
