On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
