I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
