the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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