gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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