I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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